In it I detailed a personal struggle of self-care, the hardest form of self-care there is: letting go of toxic people.
It sounds on the surface like a simple thing, but in reality, for people like me, it’s arduous.
I’m an only child, and while kind and friendly I’ve never been very outgoing. I have awkward tendencies. I have always been desperate for friends. So, once acquired, I tend to hold on to even the most toxic friendships because deep down I so badly want to be accepted and loved.
Two and a half years ago, I was 7-8 months pregnant with our first child and that somehow finally offered me the clarity to say “enough”. I had a duty to myself and my child. I had to reduce the stress in my life.
It wasn’t until after that I realized how toxic those friendships had really been. The weight that was lifted off me was a sudden and overwhelming relief. I felt like the first time in a long time, I could breath again. I no longer had to worry about what certain people thought of me or my actions. I was free.
Today, I am 7-8 months pregnant with our second child.
Over the weekend there was a baby shower that was everything a shower is supposed to be, full of loving friends who not only wanted to be there but wanted to help me in any way they could. They are genuinely exited for us and our family. I have a real support system this time around as opposed to a surface one.
It is the hardest form of self-care. It is gut wrenching, panic inducing, and can take a long time to fully recover from it. But the rewards to your personal well-being are priceless.
