My mother says I tackle problems backwards.
While most people think in terms of "best way to do this" my brain goes through an automatic "most difficult solution" process. The worst part is, I think my brain is doing the "best solution" process same as everyone else.
This was a major point of contention when I was an angsty teen, and requested assistance with my homework. Foolishly, mom interpreted this as me wanting help with my homework. She would then attempt to assist me by jumping to the simplest solution. This does not compute.
Frustration would ensue and we'd spend half an hour yelling at each other, ended with "fine, do it yourself!"
A begrudging apology would be given to my mother after my brain caught up with the afore mentioned simple solution.
It wasn't until college that I fully understood why I had had such a problem communicating with my mother over these issues.
Backwards.
If there is a more difficult, labor intensive, and complex way to do something, that's what my brain jumps to first. Every time.
Eventually, through hours of mulling and tweaking, the eventuality evolves into a far less frustrating, far less complex conclusion.
Mom call this my "process."
My husband was at first bemused by this, but has since learned how to deal with it. When I go off on one of my tangents, he just nods and waits. Once I actually looked at him at the end of one of my treks and asked "How long have you known that was the solution?"
To which he replies "Since the beginning."
If he thinks I might not come to the easiest path soon enough, he'll speak up with "why don't you try...". Particularly if the path I'm headed down might cause mental or physical harm to either myself or others.
If I don't think things through out-loud, some entertaining situations can arise.
While planning our wedding, a task my husband really wanted no part of (show up sober, in tux, on time, got it), one of the first things I did was order Save the Date cards for our 150+ guests. Because I did not do this process out-loud, we ended up with enough cards left over to paper a wall.
Backwards.
It wasn't until we were working on our first house that I found out I'm not alone.
My husband came upstairs with an odd smile on his face and kissed me on the forehead. He had been working with dad for a few hours. He said "at least now I know where you get it from."
Dad is a thinker. He very rarely reveals these thoughts out-loud. Typically when he talks to someone about something, it's long after the thought process has been completed.
Our house broke him.
Within a month of working on our house, my father started talking to himself. A constant muttering of measurements, sequences, plans and problems. My husband would follow him around to help him with things, so for awhile we thought dad was talking to him. He wasn't.
It was shortly after that happened when we discovered — my father tackles problems backwards.
My husband found this highly amusing, considering he had been living with me for a few years and was well aquatinted with the "process."
He said he had started carefully making suggestions to dad, "wouldn't it be easier to.....". He said dad would stop, think about it, and occasionally respond with "huh. You know, that might work."
So if you ever notice me doing something odd, highly labor intensive and unnecessary, don't worry. This is just my process. I'll get there... eventually.
